I’ve been fancying the idea for a while, but I think after this post I’m actually going to do it. Tumblr is wonderful but dear Lord… it is a time suck. And for what? What benefit? True, there are many inspirational and informative things I come across during my daily Tumbles, but how long is this information retained? Do I actually absorb it? Is Tumblr not just another outlet that satisfies our desire for immediate stimulus, only to completely shove it in the back of our minds like a pair of dirty sneakers? Tumblr has taught me a lot, and I truly believe it is full of beautiful people with great intentions and even greater potential. However, I have gotten it in my mind that it is doing nothing but weighing me down, taking away precious hours away from my extremely finite existence. And I think for now, taking a break from blogging is the best thing for me. I want more time to make myself who I am. It does nothing to my character to reblog pictures of what i think I like. All I am doing is trying to convey to my followers “HEY! look at me! i like tea and read books and do yoga and like rats omg i’m so kewl and hipster admire me!” What am I trying to prove? This is so fake and disturbing. The irony is, because i spend so much time blogging about all the stuff i like, i spend little time ACTUALLY doing them.

I’d rather go to yoga classes than reblog pictures of yoga mats and fit women doing the flying crow pose
I’d rather go to a Farmer’s Market than reblog a picture of someone else’s instagram photo of fresh produce
I’d rather read a book than reblog a quote by some inspirational author about living life or the tragedies of our generation
I’d rather kiss somebody than reblog of a picture of someone else kissing
I’d rather go to the gym than reblog a picture of a tanned 23 year old in a nike sports bra doing push-ups 
I’d rather go volunteer at the Humane Society than reblog information and quotations about why animals should be treated with equity and compassion
I’d rather travel than reblog a picture of a cobblestone walkway lined with flower pots in Europe 
I’d rather try to talk to people than justify my social laziness by reblogging a meme
I’d rather deal with my problems than make a bolded text post ranting about them

I’m just feeling really confused and lost lately. I feel like who I am, what I’m passionate for, and the unique traits that build my character are slipping away. I’m beginning to hate myself, and this is scaring me. I just need to work on this, and Tumblr really isn’t helping.  

I’m not going to delete my blog, because, honestly, I simply do not have the strength to chuck away 2 years of memories. My memory is unreliable and limited as it is. I am, however, going to be vanishing from 621 dashboards for a while. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, but yeah this is my extremely long winded farewell. SO yeah, goodbye all.  

3:50 pm  •  9 January 2012  •  12 notes